Life - in the In Between

Brenda was talking about being in the in between stage of life here I do not cope well with this stage and we are in it right at the moment!

I hate the uncertainty of not knowing. We have been renting for the past 6 years and I cannot help worrying each time the contract comes up for renal. We will have been in this house for 4 years by next April and this time we are not renewing the lease. Why? I am feeling the need to be together again as a family. We have coped with hubby being away (I cannot believe that he has been doing this job for 12months now!) but it is time to be together as a family. Because his job is not set in one place we cannot just rent a house and join him so our options are limited to a motel (too expensive plus impossible with 4 children) or a caravan. At this point this is our option depending on a number of things.

As mentioned we have a baby due in 4 months so can't leave before the baby comes plus we feel we need to finish out this lease. So the time line is 4 months till baby comes, then 4 months till we move. We don't know how long this job will last or where the next one will be. This does not worry me as God has always provided a job (one less thing to worry about:). So what it hubby ends up back here for work? Well we are hoping to buy Godwilling a house but... it will be a little one! So I am trying to think about planning a move into a caravan with storing only the absolute essentials we need to keep. We have moved 4 times in the past 6 years and while I have sorted out and cleared out I have never been drastic about it. So now is the time to get drastic! I have been FLYing with FlyLady for the past 2 years and have got rid of lots but never really culled in this way.

I keep thinking about what to do. But yesterday got serious about it. When you walk into our home you are confronted with bookcases (this divides off the school room from the entrance see here). During the day the girls play here and it becomes a cluttered mess! So I am starting here. Zebra is losing her new bedroom (I know this is sad for her as she loves having her own space) but in the caravan all the girls will have to learn to share and work together so I am planning (training) for that now - all the girls will share the same bedroom. No toys in this room only clothes and really special things. The problem with sharing has been that Monkey gets into everything but now there will be nothing for her to get into - problem solved! So Zebra's room will become the store room.

We will be putting everything we really need to keep into storage (if we go into a caravan) and this room is a bit bigger than the storage facility's storage area. Obviously it will need to be assessable as we will still be homeschooling for the next 8 months but it is the beginnings of the cull! So I started this yesterday. I moved what I could and left the heavy stuff until Peekers is home (pregnancy does limit one so!). I also started going through our books. All of the older reference style books are going especially in the animal section unless they are fantastic as we have a lot of newer ones and the photo style illustrations are fantastic and after all just how many animal reference books does one need? Broken games, missing pieces, dirty old toys are all out (these are my things by the way not the kids - I was a child care worker so collected lots plus I have all my toys from growing up, as you can see I don't like to throw anything out!)

End result should be that no matter where we end up caravan or small house we will fit comfortably as we will only have essentials. I know that the clutter and extra stuff is affecting me and also making it harder for the girls to appreciate and look after what they do have so I should really have tackled it long ago but lacked the motivation to get drastic after all at the moment we do have the room to store it all! Unfortunately this thinking I am realising makes it harder on Hubby the pressure is on when we come to buy to find a larger house (which we cannot afford) in order to fit it all in so now I can remove that pressure and we will all be much happier with out it all.

Now that I have started on what I can do I am feeling happier about where we are in life and about leaving what I cannot plan in greater hands.

When bad things happen

I have been reading the posts here (http://aholyexperience.com/2008/07/when-bad-things-happen.html) and here (http://aholyexperience.com/2008/07/what-is-truth.html) on Holy Experiences Blog and pondering "When bad things happen".

Looking back on my life I can see a gradual development in understanding and learning to take the good and the so called bad of God's blessings. When my 15year old brother-in-law suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack while I was pregnant with our first baby. I learnt the beginnings of trust - that all works together for GOOD for those that love and fear him. ALL, not just what I see as good but also what I could call bad is also working together for Good. I was told by so many people at this time I must to xyz as it was a big shock I needed to be careful of the baby. But the lesson I learnt was that nothing I could do would change the big picture God was in control I could only wait, hope and pray that all would be ok and it was.

James died before he was able to be baptised, yet his death woke many young people to the realise that life is short, we do not know how long we have and they were able to take the opportunity and be baptised and refocus on where their lives were headed. But at the time we did not know this. We had to deal with our own loss. Unless you have been through an experience you cannot know how it feels for another. From this I learnt that sometimes it is better to say nothing rather than to say the first thing that comes into your head as these are the words that often hurt. I learnt sympathy for others who have lost a child, a young family member and that not all of us cope the same. This understanding grew through other experiences that could be called "Bad" - loosing most of our money and ending up in huge debt (developed a trust in God and a put me on the path to beginning to learn to be content here and now with whatever circumstance in life I find myself), a miscarriage, the death of my cousins 7 year old daughter (added to the experiences i had learnt with James). The list grows longer ...

Hubby taking a job that involves him being on the other side of the country for 2 weeks out of 3. I learnt to support my husband, he had made the decision now I had to submit and support him not really easy when not many people in our family or religious community supported our decision. This was made even harder when I was involved in a big car accident coming home one night after a bible study class. I was doing the right thing - taking my children to bible study and we were involved in an accident on the way home. The accident was not my fault and there was nothing i could do to prevent it. ?Did God turn good into bad? How could he let this happen to me? (The other woman was in the same situation as me - also coming home from a bible study class!) Between the 2 cars there were 6 children. Not one child was hurt, the other woman was hurt but not badly, her car was written off, our was off the road being fixed for 6 months! So was this good or bad? Again I learnt that God is always there. I had forgotten my phone. A perfect stranger stopped and because she worked in the police department knew exactly what to do - called ambulance and police, then tracked down my in laws (in the shock I had forgotten all phone numbers) called them until she got hold of them, she had to go but came back later to make sure we were all ok. Another woman stopped and stayed with some of the kids while others were being checked out in the ambulance with me. She had them laughing and so not one bit worried about what had just happened. I will always be thankful for the help provided by these 2 women who went beyond the normal helping and went out of their way to provide extra help. I am also thankful to God who put these 2 women there when I needed them. Both of them would not have normally been there at this time and place. One (who made all the phone calls) was responding to a distress call from a friend who had locked themselves out and she had a spare key. The woman other was driving around with her daughter and grandson. Grandson had some problem and driving around was the only way to settle him some nights. Was it just chance that they were there when I needed them? I don't think so.

To often we forget and become dependent on our own ability - mobile phones, the Internet etc are our first point of call. Sometimes we need to experience the so called bad to realise that God is good that he is there watching out for us and will send us the help we need. Sometime we need to go through bad experiences to learn to help others or develop our character, without this so called "bad" we will be unable to experience the good.

Slowly I am learning to take the good and the bad, learning that the bad is only my interpretation because God is faithful and WILL do as he has promised - Romans 8v28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose"

My life line after James died was Proverbs 3v 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart' and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path." I may not always understand why the bad happens but I must trust that it is really for a good purpose. In every incident that happens in our life we have a choice. Accept the will of God for Good or bad and trust that he will make it good. Or choose to turn our back on him and become bitter blaming him for the bad and for not preventing it. This choice is OURS to make, so the next time we are faced with "bad"/"good" situation what will we choose to make it?

FOR TODAY Monday 21st July ...



Outside My Window...


The sun is shining after the rain last night and it is looking like we are in for a beautiful day. Maybe we can walk to the library instead of driving?





I am thinking...


Of all the things that have to be done today. The first Monday after Hubby goes back to work is always a busy one as I have to pull all the routine of school and jobs back into our lives and the weeks holiday is over!



I am thankful for...


The huge pile of wood Peekers cut up before he left - it should last us for the 2 weeks he is gone and keep us all snug and warm.



From the kitchen...
Hopefully I will get a HUGE pot of pumpkin soup on to last us for the next few lunches.





I am wearing...


Black maternity skirt and stripy maternity top. Not for looks but for comfort! I have reached the point where none of my "normal" clothes will fit (even my big 0nes) and it is full time maternity now!



I am creating...


Scrapbooks - I have 8 months to clear out our home and get organized for a move so hope to have all my photos in albums and no longer in lots and lots of boxes! I am starting year by year and also adding to the girls baby albums as I go.



I am going...


To have a fantastic week this week - we are starting Mr Poppers Penguins as our read-aloud and I have planned out what we are going to do each day. We are going to lapbook it using some of the things at Homeschool Share.



I am reading...
I have finished all my books at the moment and hoping for a library visit this afternoon to replenish my reading supply.





I am hoping...
For a smooth week as I really need to start getting our life back on track!





I am hearing...
The quiet noice of the girls working at their school work.


Zebra is making a book based on the Very hungry Caterpillar, Duckie is working on her Math-U-See work, Bunny is stamping having finshed her ss work, and Monkey is in bed after eating some stamps!





Around the house...
The washing has piled up (alwasy does on our week of holidays!). This week (according to flylady) is Zone 4 the master bedroom and boy does it need to be de-cluttered! Baby steps - 15 min a day and by the end of the week a beautiful bedroom!





One of my favorite things...
Being organized and planned out at the start of a week!





A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Library day today, Highland dancing starts on Tuesday, Mr Poppers penguins read alound and lapbooking as already mentioned. Should be a good week.





Here is picture thought I am sharing... The girls on our holiday in March

Links

I have pages and pages in my notebook with links I want to remember plus more saved in my computer under favourites. In my current de-cluttering and organizing frenzy I am tackling my computer so all links are now listed on a new blog where hopefully they will be easier to find and others can share my research. Plus I can throw out all that paper clutter with links scrawled everywhere!

Check it out at http://ourhomescoolinglinks.blogspot.com/

If you find any links that are broken please let me know.

free paper doll fun

Zebra loves making all sorts of things out of paper. So when I found this free download of paperdolls I knew she would enjoy it. In fact all the girls have had fun making their own dolls.

http://www.papergoodies.com/scripts/prodView.asp?idProduct=201

Lots of new things at Homeschool Share

Wow! Wow! Wow! is all I can say.

I am so excited to see all the new unit studies availiable at Homeschool Share and especially all the wonderful lapbook things! Some of the books I had planned to do this year and all planned for me like Mr Popper's Penguins.

You have to check this site out
http://www.homeschoolshare.com/

Look under "what's new" to see all the new units.

A very big thankyou to all who have written these units and shared them with us all.

Scare

Well as already mentioned I am in Pregnancy no 5 (6 if you count a miscarriage a while ago) and so far all has been well - except prolonged morning sickness but that is just part being pregnant. I am 20 weeks so half way and starting to get excited and pull out clothes to wash and work out what i do and don't need ...

Sunday night I woke up and couldn't breath. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom (not sure why) I ended up on the bathroom floor frantically praying to God to help me and wondering what on earth was going to happen to my 4 sleeping daughters if I was unable to breath again. I felt like I would never be able to get my breath. I don;t think I passed out but I think it came close before I could breath again. I went back to bed shaken and thankful to God and rested until morning. In the morning I rang Hubby who confirmed that I should go to the hospital. I rang the midwife to let her know what had happened and that I was coming in as soon as I had got a babysitter. (My mother and Auntie shared the babysitting).

My aunt arrived first in answer to my phone call and dropped me at the hospital. I was still feeling slightly dizzy and not like I could drive. I ended up spending most of the day at the hospital while they ran blood tests, a heart test and other tests but were unable to find anything wrong.

I have had this happen to me in all of the other pregnancies 2-3 times throughout each. It always happens when I am asleep or very relaxed - dozing on the couch. But each time I have regained my breath quickly and have felt no ill affects afterwards. It has always been later in each pregnancy (8-9months). Each time it has been mentioned to the doctors/midwives at my next appointment but they have had no explanation for it. It feels like something is blocking my throat (like choking). One doctor suggested that the hormones released during pregnancy to soften up the muscles were relaxing the wrong muscles and that was causing it. I have been booked in to see a specialist next week so hopefully he will have some answers.

The baby is fine - does not seem to have affected it at all thankfully. I am counting down the days until Peekers is back (3) I will be so pleased to have him back for a short time.

Both Zebra and Duckie had a lesson in what to do in an emergency and I now want to make up a small book to put near the phone with numbers of family to also call in an emergency. At least they know how to call 000 and what to say. Hopefully it does not come to that but better to be prepared.

I am so thankful that God did answer my prayer and that all is well with the baby. Once again I am reminded that we do not know how long we have and of the need to make our time with our children and family count.

For Today

Please stop by The Simple Woman (http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/)
for all the links entered in this week's Daybook (http://thesimplewoman.blogspot.com/2008/07/simple-womans-daybook12.html)

Outside My Window... It is dark and cold. It is bedtime and the house is quiet and still as all the children are asleep

I am thinking... That I had so wanted to do this post yesterday morning and join everyone else but due to a health scare have been unable to do so.

I am thankful for... God's overshadowing care and help this week.

From the kitchen... I have just tacked the piles of dishes from today and yesterday and I can hear the dishwasher doing its job! No fancy things from the kitchen this week we are in survival mode!

I am wearing... A brown maternity skirt with a frill around the bottom and a very baggy to big green jumper

I am creating... Nothing planned this week but would like to get started on finishing the girls photo albums and beginning one for this new coming blessing.

I am reading... Legalism vs. Faith by David Levin

I am hearing... The dishwasher, the quiet of night time, the soft drip of the rain and the call of my nice warm bed!

Around the house... I have a load of washing to hang out and nappies to put on, a quick bit of tidying up and then off to bed.

One of my favorite things... The colour purple.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Big tidy up before Hubby arrives home on Saturday.

Here is picture thought I am sharing... you can tell it is winter time - pumpkin soup in a big batch ready for the freezer to be pulled out during the week and reheated in the crock pot. I love soup in winter!